Jokes: About Watches

[R-oyster]

Here's one to start off

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Hellooooo," answered the blonde . "They're watch dogs!"

[seiko.citizen]

good one

[sunzhi]

ok, you might have read this before:

Where's My Rolex

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my gaaad....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex???!!!"

[sunzhi]

Old Don's Wisdom

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed, "Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lisina to me reeal good! Some day you goinna be runna da bussiness, you goinna have a beauztiful wife, lotza money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goinna come hom and maybe finda you wife in bedz with anothar man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you Rolex and say, "TIMES UP"?"

[sunzhi]

Talking Clock

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "It's not a gong. It's a talking clock" the drunk replied. "A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.

"Yup" replied the drunk. "How's it work?" the second guest asked, squinting at it. "Watch" the man said. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed "You friggin' IDIOT!...it's ten past three in the morning!"

[sunzhi]

Clocks & watches in the window

This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window.

She goes in and hands the man her clock.

The man says, "Madam, I don't repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions."

She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?"

And he says, "And tell me what should I have in my window?"

[BRABUS]

Haha gd ones . nice reading them, post more bro sunzhi .

[R-oyster]

Bro Sunzhi, two good ones in a row.

[R-oyster]

Bro Sunzhi, two good ones in a row.

[sunzhi]

hehe.. glad u guys like thm

Bro Sunzhi, two good ones in a row.

Haha gd ones . nice reading them, post more bro sunzhi .

bro brabus, any addition to your collection lately?

[sunzhi]

Who's Calling?

One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.

1) If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.

2) If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.

3) If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.

4) If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.

5) If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."

[sunzhi]

What Time?

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep.

As luck would have it, the quiet street he chose happened to be one of the city's most popular jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?" The man looked at the car clock and answered, "7:15."

The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"7:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left.

Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir? It's 7:45!"