The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. GOD made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. And GOD made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'
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A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'
The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. GOD made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. And GOD made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!'
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A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.'
The man said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replied, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Man replied, 'I can't believe that, show me!'
So she fetched the Bible and opened the New Testament, and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ........ 'HEBREWS'
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Here are my little contributions
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him up at 5AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5AM.'
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9AM and he had missed the flight.
Furious, he was about to confront his wife when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper read, 'It's 5AM. Wake up.'
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lol...hw come got Darkie?Originally posted by pet View Postokie loh, as usual, biz with home stuff
tis joke for u ... hahhahaa
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Teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."
The teacher praises the little girl.
A little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."
"Very good," said the teacher.
The teacher looked up and saw Little Darkie's hand up.
"Oh no," teacher thought, "I'm not gonna like this.
"Little darkie, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?"
Little darkie said, "Your feet."
The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.
He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down.
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Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a B1tch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a B1tch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a B1tch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a B1tch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a B1tch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a B1tch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A B1TCH!"Leave a comment:
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okie loh, as usual, biz with home stuffOriginally posted by nottinghill View Postyo pet...how's things with you man?
tis joke for u ... hahhahaa
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Teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."
The teacher praises the little girl.
A little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."
"Very good," said the teacher.
The teacher looked up and saw Little Darkie's hand up.
"Oh no," teacher thought, "I'm not gonna like this.
"Little darkie, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?"
Little darkie said, "Your feet."
The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.
He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down.
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Back by popular demand, 2 more!
Q: Whats the difference between a wife and a job?
A: After five years, job still sucks
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How deleting one word after another can lead to a nice story
Oh John Pls. dont touch me
Oh John Pls. dont Touch
Oh John Pls. dont
Oh John Pls.
Oh John
Ohhhh
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